GOAL: HEAL

How to beat the narcissist playbook

The first step? Recognize the pattern for what it is: a personality disorder. 👹

It's an addicting cycle. On again, off again. You break up, you don't talk for a few days, a few weeks, a few months... then you get that random 1 AM text asking how you are.

Until I figured out what narcissism was, I kept falling for it too.

It wasn't any easier to stay away even after learning about narcissism - mostly because I still wasn't sure if he really was one - but my advice is, keep going back.

Yes, go back as many times as you need to.

As many times as you need to see the truth, armed with the knowledge that Narcissistic Personality Disorder exists, and their playbook is the same, no matter who it is. Keep going back knowing that they cannot change, and see it proven yourself.

They won't leave you alone as long as you keep responding. And even when you stop responding, they may never leave you alone. It's been 3+ years since I went no-contact with my narc, and his messages still appear in my spam folder.

It's not a big deal for them to send another message, saying the things you wanted to hear.

Just because you love them, and they love you back in their own twisted way, doesn't mean a relationship will work.

It depends on what you're after. If you're after the sex, the excitement, the volatility itself, then go for it.

But if you're after safety, peace, and a relationship with depth, you're not going to find it from them.

Exercise

SELF-DISCOVERY

1. Why do you think you keep going back?


2. What would they have to do, how would they have to change, for you go to back to them?


3. What do you think a healthy relationship feels like?

Resources

EDUCATION

Education is the first phase of any change. If you need more information about narcissism, try Dr. Ramani's channel on YouTube.

You can change. 🦋